self-labeled Rude

So, I've done it again. I disappeared. It’s a thing I do. I wonder why. More than wonder, I thought about it.

It is rude.

Especially, when I discover that someone has asked about me. So, I thought about it, it’s a pattern that I need to control, but still I decided to look up what is rude anyway?

I found this about rude:
1. discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply.
2. without culture, learning, or refinement: rude, illiterate peasants.
3. rough in manners or behavior; unmannerly; uncouth.
4. rough, harsh, or ungentle: rude hands.
5. roughly wrought, built, or formed; of a crude construction or kind: a rude cottage.
6. not properly or fully developed; raw; unevolved: a rude first stage of development.
7. harsh to the ear: rude sounds.
8. without artistic elegance; of a primitive simplicity: a rude design.
9. violent or tempestuous, as the waves.
10. robust, sturdy, or vigorous: rude strength.
11. approximate or tentative: a rude first calculation of costs.

So, I thought I’d measure myself against those definitions. Was I rude:
1. Not really, it wasn’t immediate, I hid, so there was esp. no reply
2. I hope not – what a vague definition though!
3. Rough? Hmmm. Still not really. Manners? What are those really?
4. Rude hands?? What?
5. No
6. Hmmm
7. No
8. N/A
9. No no. Waves though? Hmmm, interesting
10. Umm, still no, sounds attractive though
11. Oh yeah, no

So, I translated with google what is rude in Arabic: Rude was “وقح”, ouch!

That’s even more harsh!

Funny, how a translation reveals more than a definition.

So, I TRIED to looked up “وقح”. (That is always an adventure!)
ليش معاجمنا العربية صعبة لهالدرجة

I got lost as usual. Witness when I tried to make sense of it. If you can, then please enlighten me. There is beautiful-sounding poetry I’d like to understand better.

Anyway, I gave up, and looked into my used-to-be-trusted pocket edition (yeah right, what pocket is that? Anyway, what kind of any language dictionary would fit in a pocket) المصباح المنير

كتاب الواو ص247
لقيت الصفحة
(الواو مع الباء وما يثلثهماا
بييه! وما يثلثهما!اييي تعال أساس الكلمة

انزين، و ق ح هل هو أساس؟ ليش لا؟ مثل، هو وقح هذا الكتاب
اتصير، ليش لأ

(الواو مع القاف وما يثلثهما! لقيتها
وقح

وقح: حدد لها وقتا ثم قيل لكل شيء محدود موقوت و مُوقت
شنو؟!

(الوقاحة) بالفتح، قلة الحياء. وقد وقُح بالضم وقاحة وقحة بكسر القاف فهو وقِح
ياه! قلة الحياء؟
بس هذا التفسير؟ لان التكملة تتكلم عن الفرس و الشحم. والله! إقراء المعجم.للأسف العربية سوف تنتهي إذا المعاجم ما تتطور!

So, “وقح” didn’t get me anywhere. قلة الحياء is so general, that it’s not worth exploration, so it doesn’t help me.

I’m lost. Was I sort of rude?? قلة الحياء, yes. So what, though?

I think “So, what?” is the root, what is the consequence. So, when is consequence of an action (or inaction in this case) demands a reaction? Perhaps never, but without care and understanding, it gets to be neglect.

If there is expectation, then there is always an obligation to respond.

So, perhaps I wasn’t rude, but I was neglectful [no I will not go through definitions again]. Neglecting things can sometimes be dismissed. The consequences of such neglect are usually rectifiable.

However neglecting communication with someone at any level: parent, sibling, friend, or even an online friend (as dilli once wrote about), is still neglect. Now that I wondered enough, I understand, that it’s not even neglect.

It’s about expectations, which lies comfortably under the banner of respect.

So, to you who asked, or expected a response. This post is for you, as my apology. I ask you to allow me, because I don’t do my hidings out of intent, I hibernate cause I do, but with you in mind, I come out to try to say something that I wish you could like.